A tantalising part of life is goals. Goals are everywhere, and they really depict a sign of winning, success and achievement. Usually, they are set at the beginning of a challenge or new year.
Setting a goal that is achievable is going to give you one thing. FOCUS and that is key to being able to help you change your life, lose weight, buy the Unicorn and do the things you want to do.
But what if your afraid to set a goal in case you fail, because what would that say about you; or you just don’t really know what to aim for?
Perhaps you don’t feel good enough or worthy enough to set a goal. You may not even know HOW to set effective, achievable and relevant goals for yourself.
Some may even think that if you set a goal you are tempting fate that you will never achieve it!
Goal setting is something that will keep you on the right track IF and only IF you set ones that;
- excites you,
- are relevant to you
- are achievable.
There are loads of different ways of setting goals. Some are good, some are long-winded, and some are just stupid!
I have 3 methods of setting effective achievable goals that I want to share with you. All of these will get you thinking outside the box because let’s face it when you set a goal you want it to scare and excite you a little bit.
If your goal does NOT create that little anxious pang in your tummy, then you’re probably not pushing outside your comfort zone, which ultimately means you’ll stay the same and won’t change, which is not what you want right!?
This method is usually used in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to help people deal with whatever they are trying to achieve through CBT. As a student of the CBT method, I like it because you can use it for either short-term or long-term goals.
SMART is an acronym….
S – Specific – you need to make your goal specific – “I want to lose 4 stone” is NOT a specific enough goal. It is very open and I call it a “So What” Goal.
So what you want to lose 4stone, who doesn’t want to lose weight? It needs to be specific. Try to add a little more substance to this “I want to lose 4 stone, be able to wear X dress out to a restaurant, and feel confident”. “I want to lost 4stone so I can wear a bikini on the beach on my summer holiday. It will be an Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka-dot Bikini” You see how specific I am making this…
M – Measurable – what you can measure you can manage. You need to be able to measure the progress of your goals, be it with measurements, mood diaries, food diaries, journals, photos etc. This is so you can change your approach (not the goal) if needs must.
A – Attainable – Now if, and I suspect you are an overachiever and perfectionist then THIS is going to be MASSIVE for you. It reminds me of this saying….
“Shoot for the stars and even if you miss you will reach the moon” what does that mean anyway!? That you have set an impossible goal and that really you should have just aimed for the moon?”
I don’t mean to be a ‘Debbie Downer‘ on this one but set a goal that is achievable, but still a little past your comfort zone. You will set a goal that is WAY non-achievable JUST so when you fail (which you know you will because you’re already questioning yourself now) It will just give you another excuse to beat yourself up because you have the overachiever/perfectionist trait.
(check out MTO goals below to help you with this if I’m talking your language)
R – Relevant – make your goal relevant to what you are trying to achieve. Make sure that it is part and parcel of what you really want. That way it will remain specific.
T – Time-bound – put a timescale on it. Be it 1 week, 6 months, 3 years. Whatever it is put a timescale on it and stick to it. Don’t move the time scale, stick to it. Make it happen and use this to create some urgency around it.
We use this method with our Hubsters (membership site guys in ‘The Hub‘) and they LOVE IT! It helps to focus them on the task ahead.
Method 2 – MTO Goals
Now if you are an overachiever or perfectionist you will http://www.mindanews.com/buy-imitrex/ LOVE this one and it can be used in conjunction with the SMART Goals.
Here it is…..
M – Minimum Goal
T – Target Goal
O – Outrageous Goal
So, let’s just say you want to go to the gym and were looking at going 7 times in a week, but you know that would be pushing it (we would not advise that BTW) you could use this scale. let me show you;
M – 3 times per week
T – 5 times per week
O – 8 times per week (train x2 one day)
Nice simple one!
Method 3 – BE/DO/HAVE
I’ll explain this briefly but this is a MASSIVE subject and one that needs a whole new blog, to be honest.
I was given this method by one of our coaches Baiju and we use it with ALL our clients now whatever they do with us. We even include this in our Workshop days.
This method is PERFECT if you have become obsessed with the scales and numbers and it has consumed your every morsel.
Morgan Freeman put is beautifully in Lucy…..
“We humans are more concerned with having than with being”
What he is saying is that if you HAVE something you FEEL you will BECOME and FEEL something from that HAVING.
Like if you buy a new dress you feel sexy, a new car you feel all new, OR if you lose 4 stone you will “BE” more confident, happy, sexy, be able to wear what you want, be able to go into the office and be confident, be at the school gates and feel confident……… or not!
At present, I am guessing you are living your life this way. Having something to FEEL a certain way?
HAVE – I want to have 4 stone less in weight, want to be able to wear that dress and be able to wear the part of my wardrobe i can no longer fit into.
DO – To get there I must go to the gym 20x per week, eat right, cut out the crap and meditate
BE – I will be confident, happy, be able to wear what I want, be the person I want to be.
Now, this is all great BUT this is where you will epically fail in this way of living.
What happens if you lose 3stone and 10 lbs? You are a few lbs from your “target” weight, that means you are SO close to being what you want to be BUT you are just missing the mark. So you are denying yourself of actually being who you want to be! All down to a number and believing that you have HAVE something you will BE who you really want to be.
The other fact is this; can you honestly tell me without a doubt, hand on heart that if you lost all that weight ALL of your old c**p would go away? The voices of doubt, the fear, the old you, the identity that causes you to get where you are now? (hint…i’ve never had someone tell me with their hand on heart – yes)
So you are denying yourself of being who you want to be. From true fulfilment and the crazy thing is this all because of a NUMBER!
So how can you turn this around?
BE -the person you want to be! who do you want to be? smart, confident, happy, energetic, loveable, a good mum, good wife, be able to speak out??? Who do you want to be!?
DO – Then you start to think – what would this person DO every day? – go to the gym, eat right, speak to people, believe in themselves.
HAVE – What would you have as a result of that – I’ll leave that up to you to decide.
This ladies and gentlemen, This is where the REAL magic happens. Once you can free yourself from all the BS of numbers, should’s, and trying to chase something and have something you believe will make you FEEL a certain way when you free yourself from this, you will realise that everything you need is RIGHT within you right now at this moment..
Team Rock Solid