We all want to be more confident in life, but what is confidence and how can you get it on tap? The one big thing is the confidence to walk into a room of strangers or step into the gym. In this blog, I am going to share my top 3 tips for nonstop confidence that simply oozes out of you.
I want to be MORE confident. I want the confidence to do what I want to do. I am just not confident in anything I do
It is a common theme in our world with our FreedomFighters when they come to us.
Having the confidence to walk into a room, go to a class, wear the clothes they want even put on makeup and be with friends
I think a lot of you can relate to this, even me at times I have been guilty of saying “I want MORE confidence”
Thing is, it is not about having MORE confidence, you have to understand what confidence is to really appreciate how you can attain it at ANY TIME.
What do you think confidence is? When we ask people this they tend to stumble, because really they don’t know.
Confidence is a level of CERTAINTY that you KNOW something would happen.
The statement “I am not confident in anything I do” is complete and utter BS!
So if we were to take this statement and apply it to some everyday things you do quite confidently because you are certain of an outcome
You put your knickers on in the morning with confidence
You brush your teeth with confidence
You make your morning tea or coffee with confidence
You know the outcome of those so you do it with confidence.
So the statement of you are not confident in anything you do is pretty much BS!
There are a handful of things that you are NOT certain about like walking into a class, wearing the clothes you want to wear, or even putting on some makeup and going out with friends.
ALL because you are not CERTAIN about the outcome of it, it is out of your hands, THAT is where the lack of “confidence” or certainty comes from.
When you go to step into a room of stranger you don’t know what the outcome is going to be, you guessed it, and that guess is usually the wrong one.
The same as the gym you unsure about the reception you will get. You think that everyone will turn around and laugh at you, but in reality, no one really cares about you and the fact you have stepped into the gym. They are more interested in themselves
The same for the other people in the room you just stepped into, they are more worried about how they look that they don’t care about you.
The thing you have to remember is that you have stepped into many places before that you have not been into. That means that you are certain about doing that part of the thing. Which means you do have a level of confidence, you are just talking yourself out of it.
The other week I was practicing some handstands in CrossFit.
I can do them against the wall, I can transition left and right against the wall I can even raise one hand and touch my shoulder while against the wall.
All because I know the wall is there and I am CERTAIN in this position.
BUT take the wall away, and that level of certainty goes.
I have never done this before and of course, the “fear” is falling however I CAN be certain that I know full well how to fall out of a handstand.
That is how I build my confidence looking for the things I can CERTAIN on and build on that.
I have my top 3 tips for building CERTAINTY, let’s scrap the word confidence, let’s use certainty
Tip No 1 – Define it, don’t guess it
1. First off define what it is you are not certain about, what it is that you feel you lack “confidence” in don’t just say everything, that’s going to overwhelm you. Be specific here. Is it the actual opening of the door, or just walking through it.
Tip No 2 – Find something
2. Find something in that situation that you CAN be certain about. If it is the first time doing something GREAT! because you have done a lot of things for the first time and you did not die! Your still here, I know that cause you are reading this post! if you would be a ghost (if you are please come and haunt me so that I can get proof and make millions off it! ) You are experienced at being inexperience so use that!
Tip No 3 – Rinse and repeat
3. Once you have done the thing you were not certain about assessing it, build up new experiences in your certainty bank and use that in the future.
I know I will nail the handstands once I gain more certainty over time.
Hope this helps!